Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
