jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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