Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
