it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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