I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
