we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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