Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
too bad you live with your parents still
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
