I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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