new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize