she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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