And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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