that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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