He uses pillows to masturbate.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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