saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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