You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
