I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
