you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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