apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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