I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
