"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
