I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
