careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
