I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
