508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
