he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
