dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
