some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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