well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize