Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
