So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
