Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
