i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
This couple is walking their pig around campus
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
