Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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