could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
