once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
