ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dicks are not precious.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
