Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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