That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
