I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
