he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
