When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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