and my herpes radar will keep us safe
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize