We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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