I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
