Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize