so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
