Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
