I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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