So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize