Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
