I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
