Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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