If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
