Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
