I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
