Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
