Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
