After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
