Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize
