i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think my moral compass just broke
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
