I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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