Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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