its not stalking. its research.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
